Start with a story
Open by asking everyone to share the best (or worst!) first-date story they’ve heard. It sets a warm, honest tone.
Reading guide
Book Club Guide
Everything you need to host a great conversation about The Idea of You — and how to invite Cindy to join you.
Discussion questions
Use as many or as few as you like. There are no wrong answers.
- What does the title, The Idea of You, mean to you now that you’ve finished the book? Did that meaning change as you read?
- Have you — or someone close to you — used a dating app? How did the book’s portrayal compare with your own experience?
- Is it possible to fall in love with someone you’ve only known through a screen? What, if anything, is missing?
- If an AI could help you write the “perfect” message to someone you liked, would you use it? Where would you draw the line?
- How does technology change what we expect from a partner? Does it raise our standards, or make it harder to be satisfied?
- What role does honesty play in the relationships in the book? Is presenting an idealized version of yourself a kind of dishonesty?
- How do different generations in your group feel about meeting a partner online? Did the book shift anyone’s view?
- Which moment in the book stayed with you most, and why?
- If you could ask the author one question, what would it be? (Then send it to her — she answers!)
Hosting tips
Mix the generations
The book lands differently for someone who met their spouse at a dance versus someone on three apps. Invite both.
Bring Cindy in
Cindy can join in person around Chicagoland or by video call anywhere for a Q&A with your group.
Book club visits
Want Cindy at your next meeting?
Tell her a little about your group and when you meet, and she’ll get back to you.